Cue our well-intentioned fan-girl yell of “Noooooooooooooooo!”
Cast members descended on Miami yesterday to begin filming after two (we assume) very long car trips in which the stars were separated by sex. Snooki and JWoww were in one car while Pauly D and the Situation were in another. No word on how Ronnie, Vinny or Sammi got there. And then, out of nowhere, ANGE-Fricken-LINA arrived with luggage in tow – apparently in actually suitcases this time instead of garbage bags.
This pisses us off to no end. Season two will not be nearly as epic as last season based solely on the fact that she’ll be there.
We’ve also seen our first glimpses of the awkwardness that will occur this season. Last season, a group of 8 unknowns descended on Seaside Heights. They partied, loved and fought other vacationers and locals and no one really knew who they were. This season, 7 high profile cast members (and one bitch) are walking the streets of Miami and everyone knows their name. Perez Hilton posted pics of Snooki, Pauly D and Mike walking the streets with some definite creepers in the background. And not the good type of creepers that Ronnie likens himself to … no, these were amatuer paparazzi capturing every second of the Sitch walking in his grey wifebeater and OchoCinco Reebok shoes (I hear they’re called ZigTechs…).
It’ll be an entirely different atmosphere in Season Two. Kind of like Cheers, where everyone knows their names…
Anticipating that awkwardness, MTV is trying to be proactive in keeping the Jersey Shore tide alive by sending out casting calls for “tanned and toned fist pumpers” who could “dominate the gym, tear up the dance floor and rule the bedroom.” Those that apply have to be over 21 but appear to be under the age of 30…In other words, Season Two hasn’t even been filmed yet and our dear cast is going to get replaced in Season Three!
WTF MTV. WTF! Angelina should never have been offered the Olive Branch. She burned her bridges in episode two and you should have left her well enough alone. The show ruined her freaking life and the cast hates her (all straight from her own mouth), so why would you ever ever think about bringing her back. And on top of that you’re going to replace our beloved cast?! Sure, Season Two won’t have the same feel as Season One, but Season Three sure as hell won’t work with a new cast.
Honestly MTV, why did you ditch Road Rules in favor of strictly doing Real World/Road Rules Challenges? BECAUSE NO ONE CARED about new Road Rules people (actually, that’s a complete lie. I totally miss Road Rules) and only want to see Kenny, Wes, Coral and Tonya try to kill each other while they’re wasted and then have to work together on a ridiculous challenge like “Mexican Blanket Rolling” the next day. Shame on you MTV!
(Side note: How do I sign up for the job of coming up with what challenges the cast will do? I want to sit around a cushy studio in Times Square and say things like “let’s have them roll down a beach in blankets….wait for it…Mexican blankets!” or “how about we have them sit on a block of ice in speedos and bikinis and slide across the floor!)