And Season Three Begins With A Bang

Courtesy of MTV

Fist pumps, my dear readers! You may have noticed that Hairpoof all but disappeared during season two, and there’s a very good explanation for that (namely: SEASON 2 SUCKED!), but we have high hopes for season 3.

Our favorite guidos are back in Seaside Heights, and with that return comes the return of not-douche Vinny (at least so far), the duck phone (why didn’t it ring last night?!) and all of our favorite bars (Karma, Beachcombers, etc.). It also brings the unfortunate return of crazy Sammi and Ronnie, and a brand new cast-mate, Snooki’s “friend” Deena – did Emilio, Snooki’s ex, let us in on some reality of the reality show when he tweeted that Snooki had never met Deena before filming begana?

The season began watching everyone pack up and head down tha Shore. If we happen to hit a fourth season of this show, can we please omit this section? It was cool to see where the cast came from before they were stars in season one, and funny to see Pauly and the Sitch, and Snooki and JWoww try to maneuver a road trip to Miami in season two, but this season it’s strange. We already know that Pauly is going to bring a bajillion hair products, we don’t need to see it again.

Sammi and Ronnie, who will “have their one year anniversary” at the shore, drove together like the lovebirds that they are.

First things first – you can’t have a one year anniversary until you’ve been together for a year. You started hooking up in August of 2009. You broke up on the reunion show in early 2010. You were apart for most of the summer and then got back together after Ronnie hooked up with a crap ton of grenades in Miami. I’m sorry, but doing the math there, you have definitely not hit a year.

The anti-social couple arrived first and decided that they wanted to piss everyone and their mother off as much as possible so they took the room on the second floor with three beds because “it’s nicer and has a nice bathroom,” completely disregarding the fact that the ground floor has a two person bedroom which they could have turned into a cozy love nest.

Doesn’t matter — now it’s just like they’re trolls under a bridge (except upstairs) as three of the seven cast members will never walk up the steps again.

Whorebags JWoww arrived next and walked upstairs, hoping against hope that she and the other ladies could capture the loft for their own den of love. Ronnie, the mature being that he is, decided it would be awesome to run into the bathroom and leave Sammi alone to confront her enemy. Would this be our first clash of the season? Sadly, no, JWoww walked half way up the stairs, saw Sammi and then turned around without saying a word to skulk around the first floor.

After the other cast mates arrived, they decided to have a welcome lunch to get to know Deena. Ronni and Sammi came downstairs from their castle in the sky which they will be forced to share with the Sitch and tried to play nice.

It didn’t work so well since Sammi decided she wanted to take over Angelina’s role of being a bitch for no reason to everyone in the house. One word answers abounded and finally she got so fed up that she had to be in the same room as the others that she left to go hold her hair extensions alone upstairs.

Ronnie soon joined her as the others decided they wanted to have fun and play flip cup (or “flip the cup” as Deena called it) and Ronnie doesn’t like to have fun – it’s why he’s dating Sammi. They had a heart to heart about what Ronnie would do in Sammi’s situation and then looked at each other all doe-eyed, oblivious to the outstanding drama happening outside.

Deena, Deena, Deena. What can we say about you? You’re a firecracker who won’t burn half-assed like Angelina. You seem to have watched the first two seasons of the show and thought you understood how the cast members interact so you came in half-cocked and ready to fire. Not only did you almost get it on with Vinny in the hot tub (poor Snooki had to witness their awkward flirtation), you showed the Sitch your Na na and your outstanding cowboy hat, AND you called Sammi the c-word and managed to wake up Hulk-Ronnie by referring to him as Sammi’s boyfriend. Girl, as the Sitch said, you are audacious (wait, Holy Shit! Sitch knows what the word audacious means enough to put it in a sentence?!) and will be a pleasure to watch this season.

Are you guys ready for more of Season 3? How many of you are pissed at MTV for cutting this episode at the exact moment that JWoww and Sammi started swinging at each other? And who wants Sammi to STFU and go home?

More gems from episode 3.1:

–How sweet is Vinny? He and Snooki apparently had a conversation between Miami and Jersey where she told him she like LIKED him, liked him. Sadly, Vin didn’t feel the same way because “he has a penis” and didn’t want to be tied down to one girl. He did, sweetly, extract himself from her drunken embrace in the hot tub saying he didn’t want to hook up with her because he knew if he hooked up with other girls – which he will – she would get hurt.

–THE SITUATION KNOWS THE WORD AUDACIOUS!

–Pauly and Vinny are going to be roommates. Is this the start of a tighter bromance between VP than MVP?

–How annoying are Ronnie and Sammi? Ugh.

–When the Pauly walked into Sammi and Ronnie’s room to debate moving in with them Sammi’s clothes were in a ball at the bottom of her bed. She brought luggage. Why would she dump it out? Our theory is that she’s embracing the dirty little gerbil title that Angelina left behind.

–How will Deena fit in the house? It’s dangerous to have three girls in one place, one will always feel left out. Does this mean that JWoww will be left out to dry, or will she and Snooki fall back to their old, chummy ways and leave the new girl out??

Dancing With the Stars – It’s Never Too Early to Panic

Karina Smirnoff holds a photo of DWTS partner Mike "The situation" Sorrentino

Well, week 1 of Dancing With The Stars is in the history books, and our darling Situation is safe.

He came, he sort of practiced, he awkwardly half fist-pumped — and he had pretty amazing lines when he actually hit the Cha-Cha steps with partner Karina Smirnoff.

While, Len Goodman said he “had the guns, but not the ammunition,” and Carrie Ann and Bruno both stated that it was impossible to hold Mike to the same level as the other contestants because he had only had 5 days to practice as opposed to everyone else’s 21.

Next week, however, all bets are off and he needs to step up his game if he wants to stick around the competition.

Based on week one, however, there are a few people Mike needs to watch out for. Jennifer Grey (of Dirty Dancing and Ferris Bueller fame) and Kyle Massey (from Disney’s That’s So Raven, and Corey in the House) are the obvious -and somewhat surprising – standouts.

That’s not to say the other’s won’t be difficult competition. Audrina from The Hills may take some of the MTV viewer vote away from the Sitch; Margaret Cho is already setting herself up as the dancer with the schtic, so the Sitch can’t fall back on GTL or any other mantras he might have had at the Shore; Rick Fox and Kurt Warner will have the stamina to withstand stressful situations week after week; and Brandy has some obvious dance experience, but her completely Botoxed face may scare some voters off. I swear her forehead NEVER MOVES!

Florence Henderson on DWTS

And then there’s Florence Henderson, also known as Mrs. Carol Brady. Mike needs to especially watch out for her since she seems either intent on taking the nickname away from him with her OWN situation, or creepily making herself into a cougar as she requests to touch his situation.

Hope you’re all enjoying seeing Mike three times a week! We’ll be back next Tuesday with a wrap-up of Mike’s hopefully better rehearsed second dance – this time it’ll be ballroom instead of Latin.

The Situation and Dancing with the Stars?!

We have to give a special thanks to Tim and My Mom Calls Me George on Cincinnati’s KISS 107.1 for alerting us to this gem of information, rumors have been swirling rampant lately that Mike “The Situation” has inflated his ego so that it is even bigger than an unknown 29 year old who likes to refer to part of his anatomy as “The Situation.”

As much as we love him, and the juiciness he adds to the Jersey Shore cast, and as much as we can’t blame him for banking the name in as many different ways as possible (Sitch, honey, you tried the rap route…let’s let that one die), we have to admit he is kind of an ass.

This is the guy who facilitated Snooki getting punched in the face, and then creeped on some chicks as Vinny and JWoww helped as she cried in the bathroom, after all.

After last night’s much-debated premiere — a lot of the blogosphere thinks the magic has worn off, whereas we’ll give it at least two more episodes to entertain us past Angelina being abso-fricken-lutely insane and JWoww hating on her and Sammi; hell, if we could see more drunk Ronnie with grenades and landmines, we’d be happy — it’ll be interesting to see the general public’s reaction the Sitch and the rest of the gang, who are currently filming Season Three in Seaside Heights.

But, even if Season Two isn’t as huge as the phenomenon that was the first season, the Sitch could be back on our TV’s very soon on another reality television show – DANCING WITH THE STARS.

Now, we here at Hairpoof aren’t huge reality TV fans. We can do without The Bachelor/ette, Survivor, even the Real World, but Dancing With the Stars is amazing. We’d love to see the Sitch two-stepping with Cheryl Burke or Kym Johnson, and we’re sure the Sitch would love to cling to those scantily clad women. Mike’s manager has shot down the rumors saying they have no plans for the show at this time, but TMZ reports that the deadline for negotiations on the next season of DWTS is Monday, so we should know by then.

Photo courtesy of MTV

Jersey Shore Season Two is HERE!

I don’t know about anyone else, but we here at Hairpoof are freaking PUMPED that Season Two of following our favorite guidos and guidettes is finally here!

Ever since filming began way back on March 22, we’ve been treated to hints and tips of what’s going to happen this season. So far we know that the boys of the house had a hook-up tally, Vinny hooks up with Snooki, Sammi and Ronnie are walking on eggshells around each other since they broke up, JWoww potentially throws down with Angelina AND Sammi, there was supposedly a grenade ban on the house, and the cast worked at a gelato shop. Oh, and Mike, Vinny and Pauly are calling themselves MVP and Angelina actually picked up some real luggage sometime between packing her garbage bags in episode 3 of last season and fame-whoring her way back into the cast this season.

While we’ll get to see all the action unfold tonight at 10 p.m. – as far as we can tell episode one will follow Pauly D and The Sitch, and Snooki and JWoww as they road trip to Miami (meaning we get to see the infamous “Who does AAA call when AAA gets stuck?” scenes) – there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a little Jersey Shore to get you in the mood all day.

Enjoy! And we’ll see you back here tomorrow for a wrap up on episode one!

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New Video: Jersey Shore – Season 2 Trailer, posted with vodpod

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Enrique Iglesias ft. Pitbull – I Like It (Jerse…, posted with vodpod

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The Jersey Shore Saga: Friggin’ Twilight, posted with vodpod

Four Jersey Shore Cast Members Fired?!

Will JWoww, the Situation, Snooki and Pauly D be the only four JS-ers back for Season Three?! Photo courtesy of MTV

Reports are coming in today that a third season of Jersey Shore is in the works.

You might think we’d be rejoicing at that news and we are to an extent. We can’t wait to see Season Two which debuts on July 29 and a third season sounds just as epic.

However, rumor has it that ONLY Snooki, JWoww, Pauly D and the Situation have been offered contracts for the season and Vinny, Sammi, Ronnie and Angelina are being left out on the boardwalk to dry.

PerezHilton reports that MTV was “underwhelmed” with the latter four’s performances on the second season and are looking into recasting their spots in the shore house to provide more entertainment and drama.

While we don’t care that Angelina is going to be gone – the Sitch’s analogy still rings true, “she was a half-assed fire cracker. She fizzled out real quick and then made a loud noise” – we can’t condone dumping Ronnie, Sammi or Vinny. Especially Vinny! He may have started as that quiet kid who could have been a neighbor hanging out in the shore house, but he soon found a way into our hearts as a complete mamma’s boy with Harvard intentions.

Shame on MTV for introducing a crappy “cast member” from the second season only to strip us of three of our favorites for the third.

Let’s hope a yay or nay comes out on this one real quick so that we aren’t kept in suspense.

The Situation drops a rap tune

The Situation is now a rapper. That’s about all we can say about that — you really just need to listen to the song and make your own judgements.

The sure to be mocked classic hits iTunes next week, but thanks to HollywoodGossip and TMZ, you can grab a sneak peek right here.

Jersey Shore house is full of STDs?

Ronnie, Pauly D, the Situation and Vinny pull up to the 2010 MTV Movie Awards June 6. Photo courtesy of MTV

Well, we can’t actually say we’re surprised at the fact, but it’s surprising that the producers are coming out and talking about it!

SallyAnne Salsano, the mastermind behind the wonderful pop culture gem that is Jersey Shore, sat down for a round table discussion with The Hollywood Reporter and Dr. Drew Pinsky from VH1’s Celebrity Rehab.

Pinksy said that VH1 mandated that the cast do things completely unrelated to the show like requiring everyone to take Valtrex – a common prescription medication used to treat herpes.

Salsano jumped on that saying: “We hand it out like M&Ms! ‘Hey kids, it’s time for Valtrex!’ It’s like a herpes nest. They’re all in there mixing it up.”

Once again, not surprised…we had an idea that was happening, but still. Let us think that our greasy reality stars aren’t completely dirty and creepy…

Sneak Peek of Jersey Shore Season Two!

The cast of Jersey Shore glams up the Red Carpet at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards. Photo courtesy of MTV

Did everyone catch our favorite guidos rocking the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards last night? We didn’t get to see much other than their grand entrances, Snooki helping Sway interview the A-listers and the Situation taking off after Dale from ABC Family’s Greek after he “kissed his woman,” but it was just enough of a teaser to get us (fist) pumped for July 29!

Aside from seeing the cast in all their juicehead glory the Movie Awards also gave us a few exciting details: JWoww was wearing one of her own designs on the red carpet from her new clothing line – Filthy Couture – which officially made it’s debut last night. Snooki is either exceptionally short – which we already kind of knew – or Snoop Dog is a giant. And one not so exciting detail – As much as we tried to block it out of our  minds, Angelina is most definitely back for Season Two.

After 40 minutes of Jersey Shore love, we finally saw what we all were waiting for – the first 10 minutes of Jersey Shore Season Two!

We got to see the start of the Miami road trips that Snooki and Jwoww and The Sitch and Pauly D took to get to their new digs. We saw Vinny’s enormous family wishing him well and warning him not to get too much “Snooki from Snooki.” Sammi confirmed what we knew all along, she and Ronnie had officially broken up at some point after season one (of course, no one really knows where their relationship stands after season two).

And, once again unfortunately, we saw Angelina start her trek to South Beach after complaining that her life was too hard for her to deal with and she was sad she left the Shore house early – and confirming that she and Pauly D did hook up (which she seemed giddily sure would be happening again) – and saying that Pauly D and Mike were texting her and invited her back for the second season, which was part of the hilarity of the first 10 minutes.

Snooki and JWoww “decided” to road trip to South Beach. Pauly D was cold in Rhode Island and women don’t come out in the cold so he “decided” to grab Mike and head to Miami. Mike and Pauly D “invited” Angelina. It’s as though these characters – because let’s face it, unfortunately, these people have become characters – believe that they did all these things on their own without a contract for $10,000 an episode from MTV backing of all of the “decisions.”

Still, we absolutely cannot wait for July 29 when Season 2 debuts. Anyone have plans for the premiere? Maybe some surf & turf and Ron-Ron juice??

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SituationWater a.k.a. Vitamin Water

The always loveable Situation took some time out of his busy GTL schedule recently to film a VitaminWater commercial with New York Mets Third Baseman David Wright. The Sitch was schooling Wright on what he should be doing to reach his full GTL potential in style.

Check out the result below. We especially love the sliding “exercise” and the fact that the Sitch really dislikes wearing shirts.

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Jersey Shore 2 to Debut July, 29, 2010

Hey, remember that time MTV tried to be cool and say that Jersey Shore was going to take place in Miami? And then they flew everyone (or drove everyone) down there and started filming and then was like  – PSYCH!

That’s right. That was today.

MTV just announced that while Snooki, the Situation, et. al are indeed in South Beach, the crew will film in Florida for a bit before heading back to their ORIGINAL HOUSE in Seaside Heights, NJ.

MTV also announced that the casting call that Perez Hilton pointed out yesterday is not for Season Three. Instead, it went out just in case MTV decided that they wanted to add some fresh faces to the crew. Let’s hope they don’t.

They also – rather unfortunately – announced that Angelina is in fact back with the cast. We kind of hoped that she was delusional and had flown to Miami on her own and was stalking the cast, but no, she’s back for good.

So, following up on yesterday’s Jump the Shark post, they only half jumped the shark (because Angelina is back we can’t say they completely did…)

But the biggest news to come out of MTV today is that SEASON TWO DEBUTS ON JULY 29, 2010 at 10 p.m. We here at Hairpoof can’t wait!