Courtesy of MTV
Fist pumps, my dear readers! You may have noticed that Hairpoof all but disappeared during season two, and there’s a very good explanation for that (namely: SEASON 2 SUCKED!), but we have high hopes for season 3.
Our favorite guidos are back in Seaside Heights, and with that return comes the return of not-douche Vinny (at least so far), the duck phone (why didn’t it ring last night?!) and all of our favorite bars (Karma, Beachcombers, etc.). It also brings the unfortunate return of crazy Sammi and Ronnie, and a brand new cast-mate, Snooki’s “friend” Deena – did Emilio, Snooki’s ex, let us in on some reality of the reality show when he tweeted that Snooki had never met Deena before filming begana?
The season began watching everyone pack up and head down tha Shore. If we happen to hit a fourth season of this show, can we please omit this section? It was cool to see where the cast came from before they were stars in season one, and funny to see Pauly and the Sitch, and Snooki and JWoww try to maneuver a road trip to Miami in season two, but this season it’s strange. We already know that Pauly is going to bring a bajillion hair products, we don’t need to see it again.
Sammi and Ronnie, who will “have their one year anniversary” at the shore, drove together like the lovebirds that they are.
First things first – you can’t have a one year anniversary until you’ve been together for a year. You started hooking up in August of 2009. You broke up on the reunion show in early 2010. You were apart for most of the summer and then got back together after Ronnie hooked up with a crap ton of grenades in Miami. I’m sorry, but doing the math there, you have definitely not hit a year.
The anti-social couple arrived first and decided that they wanted to piss everyone and their mother off as much as possible so they took the room on the second floor with three beds because “it’s nicer and has a nice bathroom,” completely disregarding the fact that the ground floor has a two person bedroom which they could have turned into a cozy love nest.
Doesn’t matter — now it’s just like they’re trolls under a bridge (except upstairs) as three of the seven cast members will never walk up the steps again.
Whorebags JWoww arrived next and walked upstairs, hoping against hope that she and the other ladies could capture the loft for their own den of love. Ronnie, the mature being that he is, decided it would be awesome to run into the bathroom and leave Sammi alone to confront her enemy. Would this be our first clash of the season? Sadly, no, JWoww walked half way up the stairs, saw Sammi and then turned around without saying a word to skulk around the first floor.
After the other cast mates arrived, they decided to have a welcome lunch to get to know Deena. Ronni and Sammi came downstairs from their castle in the sky which they will be forced to share with the Sitch and tried to play nice.
It didn’t work so well since Sammi decided she wanted to take over Angelina’s role of being a bitch for no reason to everyone in the house. One word answers abounded and finally she got so fed up that she had to be in the same room as the others that she left to go hold her hair extensions alone upstairs.
Ronnie soon joined her as the others decided they wanted to have fun and play flip cup (or “flip the cup” as Deena called it) and Ronnie doesn’t like to have fun – it’s why he’s dating Sammi. They had a heart to heart about what Ronnie would do in Sammi’s situation and then looked at each other all doe-eyed, oblivious to the outstanding drama happening outside.
Deena, Deena, Deena. What can we say about you? You’re a firecracker who won’t burn half-assed like Angelina. You seem to have watched the first two seasons of the show and thought you understood how the cast members interact so you came in half-cocked and ready to fire. Not only did you almost get it on with Vinny in the hot tub (poor Snooki had to witness their awkward flirtation), you showed the Sitch your Na na and your outstanding cowboy hat, AND you called Sammi the c-word and managed to wake up Hulk-Ronnie by referring to him as Sammi’s boyfriend. Girl, as the Sitch said, you are audacious (wait, Holy Shit! Sitch knows what the word audacious means enough to put it in a sentence?!) and will be a pleasure to watch this season.
Are you guys ready for more of Season 3? How many of you are pissed at MTV for cutting this episode at the exact moment that JWoww and Sammi started swinging at each other? And who wants Sammi to STFU and go home?
More gems from episode 3.1:
–How sweet is Vinny? He and Snooki apparently had a conversation between Miami and Jersey where she told him she like LIKED him, liked him. Sadly, Vin didn’t feel the same way because “he has a penis” and didn’t want to be tied down to one girl. He did, sweetly, extract himself from her drunken embrace in the hot tub saying he didn’t want to hook up with her because he knew if he hooked up with other girls – which he will – she would get hurt.
–THE SITUATION KNOWS THE WORD AUDACIOUS!
–Pauly and Vinny are going to be roommates. Is this the start of a tighter bromance between VP than MVP?
–How annoying are Ronnie and Sammi? Ugh.
–When the Pauly walked into Sammi and Ronnie’s room to debate moving in with them Sammi’s clothes were in a ball at the bottom of her bed. She brought luggage. Why would she dump it out? Our theory is that she’s embracing the dirty little gerbil title that Angelina left behind.
–How will Deena fit in the house? It’s dangerous to have three girls in one place, one will always feel left out. Does this mean that JWoww will be left out to dry, or will she and Snooki fall back to their old, chummy ways and leave the new girl out??
Did you guys see the new Jersey Shore Italy promo after Teen Wolf on MTV last night? It looks like our favorite guidos still have a love/hate relationship with each other and this season will be explosive.
Keeping Up With Jersey Shore 